Only then will it make sense that the women you are most attracted to are just as attracted to you.
Until then, you’ll be snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
I read your book: “Why You’re Still Single” (among many, many other single self-help books,) and I’m here because I trust your opinion. Hauck believes that seeking higher self esteem is a bad idea. You may decide you are a good person because you are good looking, a hard worker or do well at your job.
As I see it, you’re in the middle of a vicious cycle. The more confident you get at it, the more success you’ll have at it. Start there, watch your confidence grow, and please come back to let me know how it’s going. Much love, Evan Heather; “Overcoming The Rating Game” by Paul Hauck might be useful book for you ( ). Self Esteem is based on qualities that can change….meaning your self esteem can come right back down again.
To feel good about themselves no matter what circumstances they find themselves in.
I have a lot of baggage and emotional torment that keeps me from opening up to men completely, you know, the classic ‘daddy issues’ and other various insecurities, including body image. I want so badly to respect myself so that men will respect me, but I’ve started off with such bad habits and I’m having trouble breaking them. Yet I must remind you that I’m not a psychologist – just a guy who’s been on two million dates and has spent an inordinate about of time talking about them. After all, you have an idea of what proper behavior is – but due to your shaky self-esteem and your past, you end up accepting far less, just to have SOMEONE. Guy texts you once every two weeks for a booty call? Guy doesn’t want to take you out for dinner, introduce you to his friends, call you his girlfriend? Guy tells you that you’re obese or an emotional basket case? Will you end up getting rid of pretty much every guy in your life? The more you do something, the better you get at it. But I’m not a supermodel (that’s perfectly clear and I’m not making any excuses.) I’m a curvy girl. I’m a chronic offender of settling for a sexual relationship to make myself feel ‘wanted’ and also of accepting the wrong men (great advice, by the way) because I feel that is the only way I can get men to really want me. How can I start believing that I am worth more than I give away? This is not easy, but it’s the easiest thing you have to do. This goes for those who are sexually inexperienced. I’m working on it slowly, attempting to build my self-esteem and self-confidence enough so that I get to the point where I can go out into the dating world unafraid of what I have to offer. Therefore, my question for you is: What can or should I do to build up my confidence and feel secure and attractive when I approach men? Just as a smoker is responsible for stopping smoking, despite the physical and emotional addiction to the process, you have to make a choice to no longer tolerate bad behavior on the part of men. The only thing you lose is the toxic energy that you’ve allowed to swirl around you for so many years. That’s one of the hardest parts of being in your early 20’s – everyone’s so screwed up and finding themselves, there are few role models to be found. You need to mirror the behaviors of good decision-makers with high self-esteem in order to break your cycle. If you do this, you will have taken care of the external by minimizing your interaction with bad men and bad friends. It’s going to take weight loss – not just for its obvious effects on your dating, but for your health and self-esteem as well. This goes for shy people with no confidence in talking to others.I had few boundaries to speak of and even less self-esteem…and I was willing to consider this treatment a fair price for being in a relationship. In fact, many people who are socially inexperienced – geeks and nerds especially – will have encountered all of these and more over the course of their relationships… Many will assume that these are just par for the course when it comes to relationships – platonic, romantic, or familial.