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    What to chat about online dating

    Often online dates occur quickly after seeing a picture on the Internet.

    The idea of meeting that face seems exciting, until you reach the front door of the bar. Thankfully, there are a few basic ideas that you can keep under your hat to keep a conversation going and hopefully spark a great connection.

    As hearing each others’ voices is also a whole new level of discovering more about each other, it is also often a key point for deciding that you don’t want to take things further, or for a potential partner to decide the same about you; this is the first time that you have a live interaction with them, and this tells you a lot. There’s an argument for speaking as soon as one or two emails have established that you’ve something in common – not least because the phone call very often tips one or both of you to end the connection, so talking sooner rather than later means you don’t waste time on non-starters.

    On the other hand, if you have a number of email connections, you may want to be choosey about who you talk with.

    I was doing research for a dating service branding project, but I took away two things I didn’t expect: first, that online dating sites (depending on which ones you join) are actual full of great people who are looking for an alternative to clubs and bars for meeting new people, and second that there are some oft-overlooked tricks to online dating that, according to many of the conversations I had, most people are not using. Make use of them, and you (and your date) should have a much more pleasant experience (and maybe you’ll find the girl or guy or transgendered person you’ve been looking for)! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT pretend to be something you are not while online dating.

    Not only will this lead to inevitable disappointment for your date, it will also end with inevitable embarrassment on your part when your date walks out on you, comments on how much weight you’ve gained or hair you’ve lost since you took the photo on the site, or asks you where the tattoo went (this is an actual story I was told..apparently a guy that the storyteller went on a date with had Photoshopped a tattoo onto his arm in order to strike up a conversation with the girl, who liked tattoos…she was not amused when she found out).

    By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.

    If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.

    I actually felt the same way about it until I undertook a research project a year and a half ago that led me to join 18 different dating sites, going on a date with a girl from each one.A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?It’s amazing how many people will complain that they’ve had no luck with online dating and then I’ll take a look at their profile and there won’t be any pictures and most of the fields aren’t filled out.“I don’t want my picture up on a dating site,” they say. There’s no way you’re going to find great people to date online if you don’t have enough commitment to post at least one picture and fill out 90% of the fields on your profile page.

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