Arranged marriages Many people assume that all Muslims are ‘arranged.’ Sure, some people are arranged – but this can mean different things.In some instances, it involves your parents introducing you to someone – kinda like old school online dating where you’re matched for compatibility and then decide whether there’s something there after you actually talk and spend time together.The couple meets at or just before the wedding and then they ride off into the night as a couple. That’s mostly because in our universe if you’re getting to know someone from the opposite sex, you’re doing it to determine whether you’re compatible enough to them. It means that the rules that Western culture imposes on a ‘first date’ are flipped on their heads. Meeting the parents It’s very important for Muslims to have their parents involved really early in this process. Once the couple thinks they’re ready to take things further, the family of the groom will visit the family of the bride to ask for her hand in marriage. Tea and coffee and snacks are prepared and all the fine china is brought out.Neither of these scenarios represent the norm for the typical Western Muslim. We ask super serious questions that prod into the history of the person, their financial status, whether they want to have kids or not and anything else that our parents will interrogate us about when we tell them we’ve found someone. And this interrogation continues for as long as necessary until we’ve asked all the important questions. This is because our parents have conditioned us to feel guilty about not telling them things. The bride freaks out and wonders whether she has warned the groom about all the oddities of her family and whether she has coached him enough about what he should and shouldn’t say. They prepare the gift(s) they have bought for the bride – y’know, flowers, sweets, chocolates, whatever.Of course you should have fun and enjoy the moment, but if you get too excited, anxious and giddy, you might come on too strong.It’s important that your anxiety not mask the real you.
While the thought of going over a guy’s house to hook up can be pretty intimidating, knowing your coming fully equipped can help put you at ease.Basically, it’s just your parents introducing you to someone.In other instances, arranged marriage refers to a situation where parents arrange the marriage of their (adult) children without their involvement. On the day that the groom and his entourage are coming, the bride’s house is filled with people frantically making the house spotless.Hey, maybe we really just want to kick back and binge watch without getting all freaky with bae.But maybe you’re into Netflix and chill, especially if the invitation is from your crush.