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    What are the biblical guidelines for dating relationships

    The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. Get to know yourself.” And as soon as the person you are dating smacks his or her gum the wrong way, you are out. I heard don’t have sex before marriage so much I actually believed getting to marriage a virgin was the only important thing. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. Make sure God is the center of your life before you start dating. Don’t start dating without an assurance of God’s love for you and a solid understanding of the gospel.

    Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose.

    Nowhere, however, does it say that God picked out a spunky brunette whom he's waiting to spring on you at the right moment. When it comes to God, I'm pretty careful about saying what he does or doesn't do.

    But I do know this—if you rely on this idea too much, your dating life will get really confusing.

    A guy must ask a girl’s dad first, then the guy must ask the girl, then the girl must say yes, then the couple can start seeing each other IN GROUPS (! If things go well for the first eight months or so, the couple may or may not be allowed to spend semi-unsupervised time together and possibly even (GASP! Once the young man has firmly established himself financially and is sufficiently godly, he can ask the girl to marry him. Both families, as well as lots of church members, must be involved in the entire process, from start to finish. There are so many variables in each relationship: the age of the couple, the spiritual maturity of the couple, whether or not both sets of parents are believers, how long the guy and girl have been a Christian, the ethnicity of the couple, and on and on.

    To take some variation of the practices above and arbitrarily slap them onto a relationship can actually end up harming the relationship.

    We should date for fun, friendship, personality development and selection of a mate, not to be popular or for security.

    Don’t allow peer pressure to force you into dating situations that are not appropriate.

    Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Now, please, please, please don’t be a freakish weirdo. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage?

    You are destined to be with her, and God will guide you to her." Good luck finding this one in the Bible.

    There is plenty of stuff about God's will for his people, God wanting good things for you, and God's ultimate plan.

    by Scott Croft Before continuing with this column, please review the preamble included at the beginning of Scott's first article in this series, "Biblical Dating: An Introduction." * * * A promise is a promise.

    Last time I appeared on this site, I said that I would lay out my position on biblical dating and then turn it over to all of you to determine the rest of the column's topics by your questions. As many of you will know from the Boundless blog, The Line, the last piece generated many posts and comments, from the challenging to the supportive, the general to the specific.

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