Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, parents can still end up shaming their daughters.
Almost two decades after my own mom first attempted to talk to me about my “changing body” (her words, not mine), I still remember how embarrassed I felt. I could tell when my mom was about to bring up puberty, sex, or dating, because her face would get suddenly serious and the mood in the room (or car, where she frequently ambushed me with these talks) would become… I could tell she was about to say something that made her nervous, and knowing that made me nervous.
There’s a possibility that you will see something like this in your life. It’s really important to think through your choices beforehand, so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. “The challenge is to help boys and girls understand the politics of slut-shaming and how gender norms lead to gender-based violence.If you think of the elaborate contempt and fury aimed at John Edwards’ mistress, Rielle Hunter, the endless, exuberant anatomizing of her trashiness, in the course of which one of And then as exhibit B take the peculiar and smoldering outrage aimed at Mimi Alford for writing about her now very long ago and surely no longer extremely surprising or incendiary affair with John F. The television interviewers who went after her for not thinking about the family, or for just writing about her life, or for not slinking into a corner in silence or somehow being invisible, were again not directly using the word , but they were implying very forcefully that the shame in the story was hers.In the wake of the Steubenville, Ohio, case and the suicides of 17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons and 15-year-old Audrie Pott, I’ve been thinking about how to talk to teenagers about the toxic brew of binge drinking, unwanted sexual encounters, and photos of those encounters (some of them rape) that carry disgrace as they travel from phone to phone.Of course, every parent-child relationship is different.Some parents are straight-up terrible people who endanger or even purposefully hurt their own children.