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    I yawned my way through weeknights with a tutor or at a prep program, and I spent my Saturdays at Korean school hating life while learning how to be a better Korean. "You're not married to this so-called boyfriend of yours yet — what's the big deal? Actually, just be willing to eat everything when you're around me.

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    WASHINGTON—In response to a decline in revenue from routes running between the two disparate planes of existence, Amtrak announced Friday that it plans to cancel the mysterious, mist-enshrouded trains offering late-night service into the darkest realms of the spirit.

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    WASHINGTON—Saying the infrastructure project will bypass traffic congestion to allow for quicker arrival times across the U.

    Having been taught to use chopsticks before I learned to speak, I consider them to be the best utensils. If you pour tea for yourself before my Yeh Yeh, you will be judged accordingly.

    I don't understand why anyone would eat Flaming Hot Cheetos without chopsticks (keeps the Cheetos dust from getting on the fingers). Don't assume I know how to speak fill-in-the-blank-Asian language. Doesn't matter who's with me, when I'm eating out, I'm going to reach for the check first. With parents and aunts and uncles getting into physical altercations over who gets to pay for dinner.

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