The fact is that problems in relationships are often a result of what individuals do with invalidated feelings: Unfortunately hiding (dissociating) or getting rid of (projecting) feelings is never the last of it.Invalidated feelings have a way of coming back to haunt the relationship over and over.As I described in my post on the family dynamics of borderline personality disorder, “Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said.
Invalidation, as used in psychology, is a term most associated with Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Marsha Linehan. So critical in fact, that parenting experts report that it’s one of the most important things a parent can do to foster healthy psychological development in their children (Read: The Power of Validation by Karyn D. Denying someone’s feelings and emotional experience can make them feel like they’re going insane! Validation is a critical communication tool and expression of love and acceptance in relationships. What’s scary, it can be one of the most subtle and inadvertent abuses. Conversely, invalidation is one of the most damaging forms of emotional abuse.Emotional invalidation is when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged.