Because we weren’t sleeping together—for Justin, abstinence was a firm commitment to his faith—we never tempted ourselves by going over to each other’s apartments late at night.
But we’d go to late movies or take walks through the city together.
Four months into our knowing each other, my now husband, Justin, said, “I really like you, and I really want to be your boyfriend. For a month Justin called, texted, and emailed, but I stuck to my guns. I don’t want to go out with anyone who only has me around so I can pay for stuff.”And just like that, I had my first experience of what it meant to communicate with a man. One Sunday my volunteer position was to stand in the elevator welcoming people, passing out candy and pushing the button to the eighth floor. One nudged the other and said, “If you don’t talk to her, I will.” His friend left the elevator, but he stayed on. But there was something sweet about Justin, and I was at church, so I had to be polite. The day arrived, and we had a great time—until the check came. And I’m going to pay for the next dinner after that. (To this day Justin says I’m the worst kisser he ever met and that he had to teach me how to kiss.) But the real reason was more complicated and had to do with the cumulative effect of bad relationships I’d had over the years. And I’m afraid you’re going to be as fat as my mom.” Thus started a pattern of going out with anyone who thought I was hot; I lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew because he gave me compliments like, “Ashley, you look really pretty today,” or, “I like when you wear your hair like that.” (The next day he ignored me in school.) When I left Nebraska to start my modeling career in New York City, my dates followed a similar pattern: A guy took me out, then we had sex, then I wouldn’t hear from him again. I didn’t go there to find a boyfriend; I truly wasn’t looking for anyone other than the person I wanted to be. With his short hair, ill-fitting, baggy Old Navy jeans, white Hanes T-shirt, and Converse sneakers, he exuded a major nerd factor.teaches that bearing children out-of-wedlock is likely to have harmful consequences for the child, the child’s parents, and society.There it is, an education on the benefits of abstaining from sex before marriage and the dire consequences of premarital sex.