In my act, I start by addressing my age, my failed marriages, and the fact that I’m constantly at the hair salon and Ulta. I’ve been checking a lot of things off of my bucket list. The first thing you learn in Stand-up 101 is “write what you know.” I’ve had a lot of life experiences one could label as interesting, but my current dating situation is certainly fodder for comedy — and maybe it shouldn’t be. I guess you can say I’m in the throes of a major midlife crisis.As Dolly Parton once famously quipped, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” Because of all of this, I’m constantly called the “c-word” — that “c-word” being “cougar.” I do really hate that word.Plus they tend to live alone, which means no queueing for the bathroom in the mornings while their weird flatmate is covering 90% of his body with Veet. You’ll actually use your landline To your average forty- or fiftysomething, Tinder is what you use to start fires. They might write you – gasp – an actual love letter.Your new romantic prospect will likely woo you the analogue way, which means entire evenings spent on the sofa waiting for the landline to ring (and dialling 1471 every five minutes just in case you unwittingly blacked out for a couple of seconds and missed a call). Plan your nights out Choose your dinner venues carefully. The next time we ran into each other was when I went to interview for a job in the ski resort's lift department, which he happened to be in charge of. I think he can't really find a woman to keep up with him, even in his own age group. The man I dated was essentially an 18-year-old himself when it came to maturity. Her older brother had invited a bunch of the people they worked with at the mountain over and I happened to be there. I think he was attracted to me because I asked him out, and I was able to banter with him off the bat.
My very first crush was on a boy five years my senior in Sunday School (racy stuff), and while my fellow freshers were smooching each other in the Union bar, I was making wistful eyes at the Ph D students. Before you go bounding merrily across the age gap, there are some things you’ll need to get your head around if you’re considering dating an older man.
Nowadays, at the ripe old age of 27, I often find myself getting involved with chaps in their forties or fifties. They won’t believe you actually fancy them Unless your would-be squeeze is made in the Rex Manning mould, he will be staggered that anyone is taking an interest in him at his time of life – less still a bona fide fox like you.
Fortunately, I enjoy looking after window-boxes and griping about how everything on TV is rubbish these days. Such is the premium our shallow society places on unlined faces.
I think it felt good for him that an 18-year-old was choosing to spend time with him.
Because he had a reluctance to grow up, he wanted to stay young in as many ways as possible.