I do not intend to defend a certain set of rules, or refute any.
Neither will I pretend like I have the best advice, since I am not even married.
Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: “Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.” And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible, being a prayerful person, no vivication or mortification that can be spotted, and no one who really knows them enough to speak to the growth in their character.
Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.
We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.
But in a day when so much nominalism passes for authentic maturity, give us a few simple marks of spiritual growth that a man or woman should be looking for in a potential spouse.
I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.
In this article I am going to call it “dating” and define it as “the process of finding a spouse.” I do not claim to be an expert: I realize that many varying opinions about dating float around Christian circles jumping over each other, getting mixed together, and consuming some people.
You wish it could happen soon but it completely freaks you out. Some people call this dating, other people call it courting — there are likely countless terms you could use for the process.